So this week I decided to do a five day digital detox, a cleanse, after I noticed a few telling signs that I am a bit too attached to my iPhone. As I observed (with neutrality, yogis) my behavior, I realized that I was showing some clear signs and symptoms of appaholism (aka social media addiction).
Check yoself before you wreck yoself – here’s my six tell tale signs that you might be an appaholic.
1. Your thumbs have a mind of their own, opening and scrolling through apps on your phone like aliens attached to your hands.
2. Your first reaction to any event, experience, or communication is to ‘gram it, or figure out how to capture the essence in 140 characters or less.
3. You’ve been that asshole walking down the street who literally bumps into someone (something) because your phone was in front of your face. Stop it. Just stop. Can’t stop? Do everyone a favor a move to Belgium, where they have text walking lanes. Seriously.
5. After deleting Pinterest, you realize that you truly DO have as many hours in a day as Beyonce. With no apps, your house is clean, emails are sent, laundry is done, dinner is ready, and you worked out today.
6. When you’ve gone a few hours without your phone, and you realize suddenly that you don’t know where it is, you a gripped with instant panic – sheer terror for about ten seconds until you realize that you weren’t on your apps anyway, so who cares where your phone is?
But in all seriousness, what happened when I decided to ditch the apps for five days? Well, it wasn’t pretty.
Day 1: Sunday brought me a super busy at the beach, more productive than usual. We had twice as much business, I think due to the fact that I was very present, aware, and focused on connecting with people. This is good.
Day 2: Old habits die hard. Find myself scrolling through pages of my iPhone, as if my thumbs have a mind of their own and are seeking their long lost loves – Instagram and Facebook. I start creeping into Pinterest and stop dead in my tracks. Delete Pinterest. Check emails systematically at 10am, 1pm, 4pm. Feeling good.
Day 3: Woke up tempted to install apps back on phone. Instead, I started writing this blog post, then packed a bag to head to the beach and go surfing. By end of day, I was sneaking glimpses at Facebook on Internet and not gonna lie, peeked at IG via web browser. It’s official. I’m a junkie.
Day 4: I want my apps back. I miss them. Without them, I am adrift in a sea of real work and human connection. I’m being dramatic, and slightly facetious. It’s actually quite nice connecting with real humans, in real life. Really. Except then I download Pinterest again and go on a half hour pinning binge, collecting quotes like a madwoman. Then catch myself all crazy town, and delete Pinterest.
Day 5: Thank God I have my apps back so I can stop working on this post. Peace out!
Please note, this post is designed to make you laugh. Don’t take life so seriously. And for God’s sake, delete your apps every once in a while. There’s a whole world out there – you know, like, the blogosphere… oh, yeah, and nature and stuff.
Tags: appahlolic, confession of an instajunkie, digital detox, instagram addiction, iphone addiction, social media addiction, stoked yogi, technology addiction