I Love Jesus and I’m Not a Jerk (Usually) | Faith

I’m writing this post about faith because it’s just been on my heart over the past few weeks. In opening up and sharing more authentically about my faith, a few times my love for God has been lost in translation, transformed somewhere between me and the receiver into something else, something I never intended, far from love.  

Me loving God does not mean I’m a judgmental asshole. For realsies. It doesn’t indicate a judgment of your gay brother, a frowny face at the aunt who smokes weed, condemnation of your sailor mouth, a sworn allegiance to the Cheeto-in-chief, a denial of fun, shameful intolerance (of anything, honey, because guilt and shame have no dominion here), hateful exclusion, a limiting adjunct on the mysteries of the universe or a door slamming in the face of those who love Krishna, Buddha, Moses, Mohammed, or the rational glory of mathematics. Me loving God just means I love God.

I love God as God knows himself/herself to be. I love God beyond all names and forms, as the boundless, timeless, limitless divine power that moves, breathes, speaks and expands our very existence into being. I love God because I’ve met God – through the hotline, in the secret place, which is me and the creator of the universe hanging out one on one – with no time limit, no entry rules, and no expectations. I love God because God – whether you say Source, Great Spirit, Jehovah, Yahweh, Elohim, Allah, Brahman, the God of the Universe… God on Gods terms – loved me first. He chased me down across the country, through the darkest nights and my great resistance, and wore me down with synchronicity, miracles, compassion, and the most non-judgemental metta – loving kindness. He met me through the name of Jesus, a name for which I had only disdain, and then he changed my heart, mind, and life, one little piece at a time. He grew me through the study of how Jesus taught, and what it might mean to try to look more like him.

Jesus is my guru.

The Jesus I know is a radically inclusive, peace-loving, anti-slut shaming, social justice warrior, a non-violent revolutionary who loved broken people on purpose, an activist of healing amongst the poor and oppressed, anti-materialism, anti-corruption — but by his own words never anti-gay, anti-female, or anti-abortion — and, as so aptly put by another, a “long-haired, Brown-skinned, homeless, middle eastern Jew.“

Some people don’t like that quote, but I do. It reminds me that Christ was radically inclusive. The Jesus I know loves people of every belief system, or lack thereof. He came for the world, for the lost, and for the broken. Some people get really stuck on the question of whether Jesus is “the only way.” 

Here’s what I think: I honestly don’t know. I believe that none of us can every know the soul of another, the nature depth or quality of the way another person relates to the divine. What I do know is that each of us are born alone, we die alone, and we have the gift of sovereignty of spirit. The only person who needs to know if Jesus is the way for you… is YOU (and Jesus, def tell him bc he’ll be stoked).

Calling on his name was the catalyst that drew me from the darkest hour of my life and has continually propelled me forward, strengthening me, softening me, and shaping me into someone more loving, kind, compassionate, and open than I ever thought I could be. Jesus saved me from the path of living solely for my own ego.

But here’s the thing: I’m cool with it if you don’t need a savior. I am stoked for you if you’ve become your own healer, leader, and hero. I love you and honor you if the ocean is your church, or if you find divinity in the last bite of cheesecake. If the forest is your temple, or you worship Dog instead of God.

I’m not here to correct you, convince you, or convert you.

I’m here to love you, to get to know you, to see you – really see you – beyond the labels and trappings and boxes we put ourselves in. 

When I started Spirit Led Yoga, my goal was not to create a system or school in which to teach people the answers to the big questions of “Who am I? Why am I here? Is God real? What is the meaning of life?” 

My goal wasn’t – and isn’t – to give you the answers. Because they may be different for you than they are for me. 

My goal is to create a space where people can ask the questions. Any questions, all the questions, with sincere hearts and open minds and a willingness to be blown away if by chance a very real, very personal God does show up. And to be okay if your spiritual experience looks different from someone else’s (it will). To be lovingly held in a space where it’s okay if you maybe never hear the audible voice of God, or you feel his presence fall upon you like rain; to simply be in community, giving your spirit the space and time to show up, worship, praise, ask questions, and honor the temple of your body.

I want to help you connect with your seekers heart. Your spiritual journey is valid, worthy, and powerful. It’s perfect, and uniquely yours.

I believe with every fiber of my being that what you seek is seeking you. And if you are seeking the Divine, no doubt, it’s been following you for a while too. And here’s the awesome thing about the power of all that is good and holy, the creative energy that formed the cosmos: it doesn’t make mistakes. And it has perfect timing. So no matter whether you’ve met God yet, or felt goosebumps all over your body that tell you you’re in the right place, and you’re here for a reason… no matter if you’ve known that moment of being called, chosen, singled out by the source of all that is – that moment is coming for you. If you’re seeking it, it’s seeking you. 

I love you no matter what faith you align with.

I honor your journey into truth and the nature of all that is.

I respect your process of asking the questions.

And I’m here, if you ever want to stay up all night, watching the stars and contemplating the magic and mystery that led us to that perfect moment. Faith, trust, and prayer are strong magic. So if you need someone to pray with, in a dark hour when you need some light… someone to align your spirit with in the moments that you really hope God is real- don’t hesitate to reach out, because I’m your girl.

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